Forgiving....

My normal routine this week has been: Get up, pee, get more water ( I keep a bottle by my bed to drink through out the night and its normally gone.) and then reflect on my reading from the day before it gives me the day to process. I then set my alarm for half an hour get on my bike and start reading and biking. However, tomorrow I have to work at 9 and I am not sure if I will have time to write my blog so I am gonna get it done tonight.
Holding onto the past is really only hurting ourselves. Just because we hold on to the past does not mean that the people we are resenting for the past are affected in the same manner as we are. We need to release the anger that has built up in us. This anger is just causing way to many negative energies with in us and that negative energy is not good for us. She has a visulaztion for revenge some of us need the revenge in order to move past the anger and be able to forgive. The thing for me I have been imagining my revenge against these people for years. I just not have been able to forgive them yet. So the next step is to close your eyes and state "I forgive __________ for _____" and go through your list. I can tell you that this brought tears to my eyes and so many feelings out about the events that I didn't realize they caused those feelings in me. What really got to me was I had to forgive myself also. She said to look at yourself in the mirror and forgive yourself. Wow, I didn't realize I had so much to forgive myself for.
So many people think about the don'ts I don't want to be insert item in here. The more we focus on our don'ts the more we allow in our head instead tell yourself you are . For example: I don't want to be fat turns into I am slender.
Put your attention on something you want to grow not what you want to squash. She compares growth like growing a plant. You get a seed and you plant it when it starts to sprout you don't stomp it and say its not what a tomato plant. OF course its not a tomato plant yet you haven't given it time to grow. Don't squash your plant. Give yourself the water and sunshine you need to grow and cherish each stage you go through. Part of letting your plant grow is approving of yourself. This is hard for me to approve of myself. She says to tell yourself like 300 times a day (no that's not to much) that you approve of yourself. You can't think negatively if you approve of yourself. Eventually all that negative babble goes away with that saying so I APPROVE OF MYSELF!