VICTORIES!

So, I stepped on the scale this morning thinking I was going to get another disappointment with another ERROR. But, I stepped off with mixed emotions. I am happy that there is no more ERROR however number SUCKS. My all time high of 392.7. My boyfriend owns the scale and he thinks it went up to 400 so that is at least 7.3 lost in a little less then a week. I also remeasured and I have lost 5.5 inches.
Today, I was woken up by a storm and jumped out of bed to shut windows and doors. Instead of going back to bed I did a 20 minute yoga/pilates infusion work out that I found on sparkpeople.com.
Here is the hopeful menu for the day
Polenta
2 Eggs
2 Sausage Patties
Lunch
Left over Japanese Curry over rice
Dinner:
Three cheese Chicken sausauge
Bell Pepper
Onion
Yellow Potato

Cream Cheese Pancakes

Yesterday we went to Golden Corral I know bad bad idea. But, I did better then I normally do:

Half of steak I would assume 4-6 ounces

Egg and sausage with biscuit casserole

Cheesy Potatoes

1 Piece of banana bread french toast

2 Strawberries

3 Bites of pumpkin pie

Way too much bacon

I made a salad with blackened chicken, onion, bell pepper, avocado, and sesame dressing, mushrooms for dinner.

Today I made creamy cheese pancakes they need to be played with for consistency but they can be found here with a home made strawberry sauce. Tonight I am making cheeseburger (no bun), cauliflower tater tots, with possibly sauteed peppers, mushrooms, onions.

I have cleaned the kitchen, stripped the bed and started laundry. I have to go downstairs to do laundry so there is some work out and my stability ball is down there so I am using it every trip downstairs. Have a great day.

105 heat index!

I woke up at 5:45am with no alarm clock ewwwww. I got up and did WW kickboxing dvd. Granted I only did 15 minutes but it is better then nothing. I had a sweat going so I guess I will count it as a work out. Bill (my bf) had his last lymphedema apt. They decided that his massage is not working like they want it to so I get to wrap it and continue it at home (OH YAY! insert sarcasm here). We went to lunch/dinner at a local restaurant pretty boring day.

 

Menu:

 

Egg muffins

 

Dinner Salad with: iceberg lettuce 5 slices of cucumber 1 hard boiled egg 1/2 c of shredded cheddar cheese 15 shrimp with cajun seasoning Chicken noodle soup 8ounces

 

Snack: 2.5 ounces of Mozzarella whips handful of grapes"

 

Fluids: 16 ounces coffee 4TB creamer 4tsp splenda 75 ounces of H20 32 ounces of tea with 2 splenda"

What the Scale Said...

So, the scale said ERROR last night. God, that is scary! So, instead of eating my way through these thoughts. I got up this morning and worked out I did 20 minutes of yoga and then I went outside after breakfast and mowed the lawn (Push) and that took 40 minutes. I ate within calories but not exactly the most healthy but not as much as I normally do. So, the goal tomorrow is to cut down on the junk food and eat more healthier food and stay in my calorie range. Menu: Polenta 2 ounces of Sausage 2 eggs Dinner: Panera Bread Asian Salad Panera Bread Turkey Artichoke Panini (1/2) Panera Bread Strawberry and Cream Scone Snack: 1/2c of M&M's Fluids: 16oz coffee with 4 TB of creamer, and 4 tsp of splenda 75 oz water Acai Berry Tea with 1 pk of Splenda

Day 3 doing awesomee!

I have been watching calories for three days now. Doing something active every day. Day 1: Cut down 3 small trees Day 2: Hoed up a grass patch Day 3 (today): Cleaned the entire house I have three of the worst blisters I have ever had it hurts to move my hands they are so bad. I can literally see the different layers of skin I went through. I think gloves are definitely a must! I feel so much better these last few days moving around being active. I am drinking at least 75 ounces of water a day and keeping track of my food on sparkpeople.com I saw this picture on FB and thought I would share!

No more work

So, I am done working now. Today is my first day where I am no longer employed. I celebrated it by sleeping until 11am. I think I am going to start reading the book that had me starting this blog the first time I just have to find it after the move. I am taking today just to rest. I got up made a phone call, made some breakfast ( sausage, polenta, eggs, and yogurt) ( On a funny note spell check tells me polenta is wrong and their suggestion is tadpole). Watching baseball and trying to figure out something to make for dinner. I am not sure what I feel like.
My boyfriend and I had a small argument yesterday because he wanted to stop by somewhere and get candy and/or pastries. He keeps saying he is too fat and needs to loose weight. So we kind of got into it because he tells me that he supports me, but I can't seem to get him to understand that the only way we are going to do that is by not purchasing because neither of us can just eat a little bit here and there. He says he agrees, but then I come home to find a deep dish pizza 3/4 gone on the counter. He understands what needs to be done but he is so negative about eating healthy and he feels whats the point there is no help for his health. I seemed to have got him to understand that while he might think there is no point for his health there is some for mine. He has agreed that while he doesn't care about his health that I need to be healthier.

I am done....

I AM DONE...
DONE SLACKING
DONE BEING FAT
DONE BEING LAZY
DONE BEING TIRED
DONE BEING A SIZE 30/32

A lot has happened since I left.. I have hit a new high 378, I moved in with my boyfriend. Started my masters program. I have decided that I am just focusing on school so no more work. I have decided I am focusing on me this summer.
Goals:
Blog everyday
Track my food daily on sparkpeople.com
Walk everyday
So here is to a new beginning.

Fridays Weigh in

I weighed in at 307.7 that is down 12.3 pounds this week. I am excited about the loss. Today has been a good day it has snowed 6.6 inches so far today more expected WHY DID I MOVE HERE? I thought the transition to medifast would be hard it has not really been hard except for the mental. It has been hard mentally not eating when I get upset or just am bored. I haven't been hungry except one day this week. Tonight, I am actually so stuffed I am going to skip my after dinner snack. I know I am not supposed to skip my meals, but I am not hungry at all and it has been 3 hours since my supper we will see later if I am hungry at this point I am not.

WHAT I OVER ATE!?!

Oh my goodness I never thought that this would happen this morning I got up and I wanted something different then my normal shake for breakfast. However, right now I feel like I ate a cow way over stuffed and it is 2 hours from when I finished eating. I should be eating soon. I just am so not hungry right now. I am shocked I feel this way. What did I eat? I ate medifast eggs, 1/4 cup of mushrooms, 1/4 of bell pepper. That is all that I ate and I feel so stuffed right now. I am just in shock. I think the rest of todays meals will look like this.
mid morning:medifast oatmeal
Lunch: chicken and wild rice soup
Snack: Carmel crunch bar
Dinner: Sweet and spicy chicken with cauliflower rice.
After Snack: Chocolate pudding
I am still down 12 pounds have not lost anything in the last 2 days but I am going to be excited over 12 pounds in a week!

Injury and medifast

Yesterday a client at work got mad and went to punch me in the face in the end hitting my hand I don't know why I have this thing where I need to protect my face heaven forbid he hit my face seriously flying fist at head you protect yourself. But in the end he did damage to my hand soft tissue and possibly tendon damage. I was told it would heal in a week but right now it hurts even typing this is annoying my hand.
Medifast is going well no cheating have lost 12 pounds since Friday. There is a few moments here and there that I feel hungry but I just drink more water. I am just done with this weight and this program is pretty much fool proof. I hope everyone is having a better week then I am.

The Weekend!

It has been a great weekend. I have stayed on plan and when I weighed after getting up today I had lost 7 pounds!
It has been a learning experience for me not to eat when I feel bored or tired. It got to be very hard last night not to snack, because I was just bored. I just thought I would check in with you guys. I will write something more when it is my day off have a great night!

I am back!

So a lot of things have been happening in the 4 months.
I have moved to an apartment. I have been off plan gaining almost all of it back.Finally, made some new friends in the area from my new job which is now full time. I ordered Medifast after seeing all of the changes Lynn has made I wanted to give it a try. I know my problem with gaining the weight back is the fact that my second job went full time I work 7 days on 7 days off 80 hour weeks, while keeping my other job. Plus, I am picking up shifts. So some of my weeks are 120 hour weeks. I do a lot of eating out. I know that with the prepackaged food it should be easier. I promise to keep you guys more updated.
UPDATE:
I ordered kymaro's jeans and the body shaper. I really like the body shaper it does work not as well as they say but it still sucks it in. However, the jeans they say to order a size smaller then what you are. My jeans are a 26 and I bought a 24 and they do not fit even with the shapers underneath. I am not going to get rid of them because I start medifast at the end of the week. Hopefully, I will fit in them soon!

Question for all of you out there in Blog Land

So tired So tired. I do well all day with eating and then I work an over night or all of a sudden the exhaustion hits me. My eating is shot I can't seem to control the eating once that happens. I have been working out every day except today because I needed to get home and catch some ZZZ's before I worked tonight. I have to go tomorrow and finish a training class. I will work out after the class. I know how I am if I miss more then one day in a row then I keep thinking up excuses not to go. So, therefor I do not get breaks like I would like because I know how my thinking goes. But, what do you guys do when your so tired but can not sleep to keep your eating on plan??

The good!

I realized lately I have been whining a lot not talking about the good in my life I need to remind myself of the good going on in my life.
1. I not only have 1 job, but 2
2. I made my last lasik eye payment
3. I have started working out again
4. My eating has been on plan for 2 days
5. I have an awesome family who loves and cares about me
6. Jimmy is awesome and better then I could of asked for in a room mate
7. I started going to church again

Life is going good. I am enjoying myself, tired but I know that I am doing good. Just need to keep trucking along.

Yes, its been awhile

I know I know I have been around reading blogs here and there but not much on the blogging lately. I have been working so much. Last week was 92 hours this week 84. I joined a gym this week. I worked out once, but I haven't slept in the last 2 days so any extra time right now I have been catching in an hour of sleep here and there. For instance Wed I worked 7:15-5:15 slept from 5:15-9:30 and then worked 10-7:15 drove 45 minutes and worked until noon drove home and slept from 12:45-2:30 worked until 5:15 and then came home and slept until 10. I was actually late because I my alarm did not go off.

I am thinking about trying a version of the raw food diet. I know I do really well on veggies I loose weight really fast. I did very well yesterday and then the tiredness hit and I blew it along with today. I think I will try again when I catch up on sleep which hopefully will be Friday night. If I get called to work again tomorrow night (the normal girl had gallbladder surgery and hasn't been cleared yet.) I am going to have to say no. I need to sleep before I kill someone. Don't get me wrong I am going to love these pay checks. However, no sleep is not a good thing and with all the driving I do it is dangerous. Have a great rest of your night See ya when I see ya!

Excuses.

But the doughnut was calling my name.
But it was my birthday, so I had to eat the whole cake.
I had to get the bitter taste out of my mouth from eating the so-called dish, so I had an ice cream.
If you eat something and no one sees you eat it, it has no calories.
If you drink a diet soda with a candy bar, the calories in the candy bar are canceled out by the diet soda.
If you fatten up everyone else around you, then you look thinner.
Cookie pieces contain no fat -- the process of breaking causes fat leakage.
Things licked off knives and spoons have no calories if you are in the process of preparing something. Examples are peanut butter on a knife making a sandwich and ice cream on a spoon making a sundae.
Only eat things that have been broken into pieces; that way, all the calories fall out.
Chocolate is a vegetable. How, you ask? Chocolate is derived from cacao beans. Bean = vegetable. Sugar is derived from either sugar CANE or sugar BEETS. Both are plants, which places them in the vegetable category. Thus, chocolate is a vegetable.

These have been my excuses for the last month, not literally but my point is I have been making excuses until my pants were starting to get tight again. I felt like shit. I got on the scale last Thursday and thought to myself You idijit what is wrong with you?? Yes, I quoted Peter and the Star Catchers book. I like the word idijit I mean say it loud it will make you laugh at least it does me. I am almost a week on plan again and 6 pounds down. My pants are fitting better now and I am feeling so much better.
Today, I had a med training from 8:30-3:30 the problem is we were not given a lunch break. I brought my lunch with me but was not given a chance to eat it. Finally, by 2 I asked for a 5 minute break ( the girl next to me was having a nic fit, so I knew it was going to be greatly appreciated.) I ran to the break room scarfed half of my lunch just enough to stave off the hunger pains and ran back. I finished my lunch after work on the way to one of the houses to finish paper work that was not completed all the way a while back. I then came to the coffee shop got a Green Tea and am sitting here writing my blog. I am still hungry but I am going to wait a bit and figure out what I want to eat. I am not sure if I want to cook or not, maybe I will run to Subway and get a salad.

Empty Soul

My best friend back home has an Uncle who is a Pastor. It seems that my relationship with God is an off and on Again thing. Lately, I have felt like I need to be back in touch with God, but I am scared of going to a church and not fitting in (bad experiences). So you ask why I mentioned my friends Uncle....

One Sunday he had came in town to preach at his home church as a guest. Every time I hear this man speak I walk away confuzzled yet so much at ease. I know that probably does not make sense but that is the way I leave, I am confused about why I am where I am in my relationship with God yet I feel at peace like he is still there.

There was a potluck after this particular service. He had pulled me aside and asked me if he could talk to me. He looked at me right in the eyes told me that he knew that I was headed for greatness in my life. God speaks to me, but I do not listen. I have too much hurt in my heart and therefor I am closing God off. But, I could and can go great places in my life. I just need to start listening and opening my heart when God speaks to me.

Such an interesting topic for me, I do not speak often of religion. I have met many stereotypical Christians who judge and are hypocritical and have met some wonderful ones. So, I feel it is easier to no talk about religion often, but lately I have felt this void in my heart like something is missing. I have been getting up early on Sunday and watching this pastor on TV but I do not feel like it is enough. I know I need to go to a church.

Once again my issue with this is the hurt in my heart. What if I am not accepted for my different values. Mostly, that is where I have issues in church my views are different then the normal churches views. I was told the other day that I am an agnostic Christian. I have views from Pagan, Buddhism, Humanistic along with Christian views. I do not want to be judged or told that I am going to go to Hell. I believe in my thoughts and ideas that I have. But, I also believe in God. I am scared to step in a Church for fear of being judged. But, I also feel so empty in my Soul. Normally, back in the day I would fill this void with lots of drinking and some green stuff. But, for one I don't want to do that to myself. I know I need to work through this the right way. Two, that does nothing but cover up the emptiness for it to just be worse when I sober up.

Sorry, about the rambling and way off topic thing I just needed to rant and work through my thoughts.

gum pimples, house cleaning, and 2 days off

Yay, finally 2 days off in a row. I took Monday off because I was running a fever with a horrible sore throat. But, that all seems to be clearing up YAY. Yesterday, I cleaned and cleaned, worked up a fablous sweat took me 3 hours and lots of elbow grease.

Today, I cleaned out my car, did laundry and came to the coffee shop. I am back on my diet since Thursdays post. I am back down to 296 lots of water and back on my no gluten diet. I have been eating cheese but cut it down significantly.

I feel so much better now that I am back on my no gluten diet my head does not feel so cloudy and I am just happy to be seeing the number going down on the scale again. I think I needed the break so I was not being so bored. Granted I did maintain up until eh the last week and half. But, seeing that I could gain 5 pounds in a week made me realize that I need to do this I can not maintain eating "normally" So, I need to get back to doing it the right way.

About a year and half a go I had a partial root canal done. I have not had any pain with it whatsoever once in awhile I can feel the cap coming out and I shove it back in. But, right now I am getting like a pimple looking bump on my gum line by the tooth. I pop it and its like popping a huge pimple and then it starts to bleed. It goes away for a week or so and then reappears but smaller. I am not sure what is causing this but I have no insurance I am not sure if I should eat the bill and go back in or not.

Today!

Today is all that I need to worry about. Not what I did yesterday or the month prior off plan. I do not need to worry about tomorrow or rather or not I will be on Plan! Today, is the only thing I need to worry about. I need to worry about the bills I have now and get those taken care of before I can worry about saving for tomorrow. If I have no money left over after taking care of those bills I do not need to be scratching and feeling deprived because I am worrying about tomorrow. I need to live for today. So, that is what I am doing.
Today I weighed in at 300.00 not a happy sight but I decided that it is the swift kick in the ass I needed. I have been on plan all day. I have been drinking my water for the day. I did a lot of running around with the kids doing upper body work and chasing children. I am not going to do any major cardio because I am still sick and barely talking and it is really hard to breathe.

TODAY IS THE DAY I NEED TO BE WORRIED ABOUT!

Swift kick in the ass please!

Life around here is just blah! It seems like its winter time in Oregon. Rain and more rain ooo and the tornado like winds knocking everything down that's always fun too. I do not feel like getting up and walking in the rain. I have been cleaning a lot at my other job. Which I guess I can count as some form of movement but not much. My eating has been in the toilet also. I do good all day and then at night if I work late I go and get food. It is ridiculous.

Jimmy's now ex girlfriend and I decided it would be an awesome idea to go get a place together, I do not know whats going on with the foreclosure procedure. She is hating her living situation so I think it would be a good idea. Her and I really get along well. I will keep you guys posted on that.

I need someone to give me a big swift kick in the ass. I guess my father's second heart attack since February should be enough of a reason to drop more weight and fast. So I won't end up like him in another 40 years. He is doing fine. His doctor told him due to his line of work they do not want him working anymore. Which he seems happy about because he has arthritis and can not take medicine for it because it reacts with his heart medicine. So, he spends every day in pain. It worries me because both of his parents did not live past 72 and he will 63 this year.